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8 steps to get out of your own way by Heidi Bilonick, PCC Limiting Beliefs 8 steps to get out of your own way By: Heidi Bilonick, PCC Limiting beliefs are negative thoughts which have been repeated so much that they have now become part of your belief system. That’s it! All beliefs are just thoughts you have continued to think for way too long. Now, some beliefs definitely serve you. You know them because every time you practice that belief, you feel good. But, others do not. These are called limiting beliefs. So, knowing that, isn't it easy to entertain the idea of choosing new thoughts? In time, the new thoughts replace the old beliefs, supporting your vision for your life and who you want to be. Limiting beliefs show up in every area of our lives. Maybe they came from something you were told over and over when you were a child. I hear many examples in my coaching practice, like: ”There’s always going to be someone smarter, prettier and better.” ”Money doesn’t grow on trees!” ”I am just destined to be the chunky girl!” ”Life is hard!" ”I have to work hard to make a lot of money!” ”I’m just not smart enough!” ”Life is difficult!” ”I’ll never meet the right guy!” ”It’s hard.” (It being everything they want to accomplish). ”That’s just not something I’ll ever be good at.” ”I always find something wrong with the men I date.” ”I know I just have to settle” ”I’ve never been good at (fill in the blank).” ”I know I won’t be happy until... (fill in the blank)." As you can see there are too many to name here. So, what's yours? In a little while we'll talk about ways to get in touch with limiting beliefs and how to rid them from your life...one at a time! They usually show up when you are about to try something new, go out on a limb or stretch outside of your comfort zone. However, these limiting beliefs are meant to be challenged! In fact, it’s imperative that they are because they will leave you paralyzed! Think of it this way: you are painting your picture of possibility, or thinking about what you want to create in your life. As you are doing this, some of those limiting beliefs pop into your head. When that happens, you are running interference with the Universe. It’s like you are saying, “I want this, but look at this over here!” and, “I really want to accomplish this but look at (limiting belief)”. Now, you are sending mixed signals to the Universe. And more than likely, you will not manifest what you want. In other words, you manifest more of what you don’t want. So, let’s talk about some processes to clear those beliefs. 1) QUIET. Find a quiet place where you can just sit and be left alone. 2) ASK. Ask the Universe to show you the limiting beliefs you have. (Hint: This is easy if you start out by thinking about what you want. Then, if they are there, they will more than likely start to surface). 3) WRITE. As the limiting beliefs come into your head, write them down. 4) QUESTION. After you have them on the paper, question each belief: - Is this REALLY true? - What if there was another way to feel about that? What would I choose? - Where did this come from? - How does this belief support who I really am? - How has this belief held me back? - What do I choose to believe NOW? 5) RELEASE. Burn 'em! After you have challenged each belief, it is important that you come up with a symbolic way to release the old beliefs. Some people burn them. That is what I do. 6) REPLACE. Write a new belief. Now that you have rid yourself of the old beliefs, it is time to write a new belief. Go through each LIE and replace it with your new TRUTH. 7) AFFIRM. These work best in the form of affirmations. Affirmations are thoughts and desires written in the present tense. An example may be: “I am so grateful for this day as it brings me joy! I deserve all good things in my life and am so happy to be in a loving, supportive relationship with my partner!” Remember that with the Law of Attraction, the Universe cannot tell the difference between what is happening in the past, now, or in the future. So every time you are replaying an old bad scenario in your head, the Universe will respond to the thoughts and feelings you are generating and serve up more of those thoughts and feelings, as if it is happening right now. Likewise, putting your affirmation in the future tense will also have a negative effect by keeping it always just a little out of reach. So, don’t play the someday game either. It has to be something you want to create, become, or have in the future, but set in the present tense as if it is happening now. Remember, the most powerful point of attraction is in the NOW. It also has to be believable to you. I knew a girl who wanted to meet her soul mate. But, every time she would practice her affirmation - "I am in a loving intimate relationship with my soul mate" - She would drum up feelings of lack. She'd focus on the fact that she didn’t have it, or didn’t know why she didn’t already have it, and just didn’t feel good about it period. So, since she was saying one thing and feeling another way, she was out of alignment with what she truly wanted. And nothing changed. So, the affirmation has to feel good and be believable to you! It should manifest a good feeling when it comes out of your mouth or goes onto paper. 8) GET GRATEFUL! The most powerful way to use the Law of Attraction is to be grateful! Why? Because gratitude is the quickest vehicle to change your level of vibration! Simply find something to be grateful for to help you get in the right frame of mind, like: "I am so happy now that I am." ”I am so grateful that I have” ”I rejoice in the fact that” ”I am so grateful that I am in the process of” ”I am so joyful now that I choose to” If you feel any tension as you present your affirmations aloud or while writing them down, you can add: ”…And, I release any need to feel like I don’t deserve this” ”… And, I release any need to hold onto past beliefs” ”…And, I release the need to feel sad, depressed, or any other negative emotion which holds me out of alignment with what I truly want.”   I believe that you will find this exercise very helpful. Remember: you may have to revisit this exercise any time a new desire comes into your life and you are wondering why it hasn’t manifested yet. You see, the Universe always answers you, every time. So, if you are not receiving, it is only because you are not allowing it. And the only way you stop it is by noticing how you are vibrating or thinking and feeling about what it is that you want. I suggest putting aside 15 minutes a day to visit your intentions and affirmations. In just 15 minutes a day, you will see great shifts in not only how you are seeing the world, but how it sees you and what it brings to you in response. To YOU! Manifesting your dreams, and following your bliss! Life is meant to be joyful! Heidi L Bilonick, PCC Certified Professional Life Coach Practicing the Art and Science of Getting out of Your Own Way! Copyright Heidi Bilonick January 17, 2007, all rights reserved. You may reprint this article if you do so in its entirety.

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by Heidi Bilonick, PCC

How to Stop "Hating" Your Mate

How to Stop “Hating” Your Mate By: Heidi Bilonick, PCC www.youandimproved.org 717-343-9907

Ok, so…hate is a pretty strong word. But you know what I am talking about here. I am talking about a momentary lapse of reason where you actually feel the opposite of love and appreciation for the man you married. Maybe you know the feeling. He asks to pick him up a new razor while you are out running errands and you want to stab him in the eye with a fork. Well, maybe not that dramatic, but probably close.

You fell in love with him. He had all or most of the qualities you were looking for and you thought, “This will be amazing! I am so happy to have found the great love of my life! Finally!”

Then, something started to happen over the days, months, years. You started to ask yourself, “Who is this person?” And “What did they do with the man I married?”

I don’t know what it is in particular, but I know it could be a million things. He watches the game while you make dinner and want to talk. He plays X-Box even when the kids are in bed. He doesn’t help out as much as you would like him to. Like I said, there are a million.

Here’s the good news! Somewhere along the line, you made a choice about what you were going to focus on with your mate, and that focus shifted from the loving qualities you admired to the dismal qualities you could do without. Remember, what you focus on expands and by the Law of Attraction, you get what you think and feel about.

So, you start to notice how he is NOT giving you what you need in the relationship. And guess what? Yup! You start to get more and more of that! Think about a day you may have had recently where you started to notice the things he was doing “wrong”, did you get more evidence of his shortcomings as the day went along? Did it snowball?

And maybe you even started to point it out to him… all of these things he WASN’T doing to make you happy. I bet if that’s the case, it got worse! Let’s face it, the time to get your husband to be more loving isn’t when you are yelling, "You don’t know how to love me!” Not real motivating, right?

The amazing thing about people is that when you focus on the positives about them and what they can do right, not only will you start to notice more of it (because what you focus on expands) but THEY will also start to do more of the things you want! That’s right. When you show someone you love and appreciate things about them, they automatically want to show you more and more of those things!

So, what can you do RIGHT NOW? LOOK for what’s right! It’s there, I promise you. Even if you have to start small with something you wouldn’t normally jump up and down over, get moving! And be genuine!

As you do this, the Law of Attraction will bring you more evidence of these wonderful qualities. And as you start to act and respond differently to him, he will do likewise because we are magnets, drawing to each other.

I know and believe that you deserve to be in a happy and fulfilling relationship, but YOU have to be willing to do the changing. When you change the thought, you change the feeling and all else falls into place.

Let me help you get things on the right track! I do this by helping you apply the Laws of Attraction to your life.

To you and finding what’s RIGHT! Heidi Bilonick, PCC Certified Professional Personal Life Coach “Practicing the Art and Science of Getting out of Your Own Way!” www.youandimproved.org 717-343-9907

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